I remember when
she came to live in my body. After I’d eaten, I’d weaken and than Anna would
gain strength and make me feel so terrible. Anna hated food, she was in charge.
I had to go with her choice of what to eat most of the time it was nothing. I
would argue with her all the time, often shout and cry at her to leave me alone
to eat what I wanted, but she’d never leave. She lived in my body I couldn’t
feel hunger or my pain. I just let Anna convince me to stay indoors alone-
People would talk about me- I knew why because I could see that my body looked
wrong, that my bones were showing and my veins would stick out. I didn’t like
it, it was Anna’s choice. It was her that got on the scale everyday, and
punished my body if another pound hadn’t been knocked off. I gave up the fight
with Anna. I let her have my body. I felt that as my body was so useless now
anyways. I didn’t even want it anymore. I waited for my body to give up and set
me free. I felt it start to happen. First I lost my energy. I lost my ability
to walk more than a few feet before having to lie down. I had to give all my
strength just to go on breathing. All the time Anna just watched and laughed.
My heart fluttering, trying to hold on though it was being burnt away with
every breath I took…. It was at this point that Anna showed herself to my
family. They saw her and then everything changed. They new I couldn’t fight her
on my own. For a year I fought. I’d watch Anna take my body and kill it slowly
and painfully while all I could do is sit and watch. I didn’t know how to feel
hunger or eat food anymore. My family had to fight Anna first, but eventually
their voices came though and pulled me back and then I could help them fight
her too. It was a constant battle, with Anna trying to push me back every time
I found a bit of strength. I had the strength of my family and the doctors. My
body began to look normal. One day she was gone. Occasionally I read her
thoughts, or heard her voice; I have the power to push them away. But I know
she will lie dormant besides me forever…
